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Archive for September, 2013

Lo Scarabeo Tarot

Lo Scarabeo Tarot

They are evil! Yes, they are! Lo Scarabeo just published what decks and other things they will release for 2014 and it is veeery dangerous I tell  you! My bank account is already feeling the panic attacks coming, sneaking up on it and trying to make it run away screaming. And there is still several months before it will actually be anything like that happening. My wish list just grew longer, and that is said with a deep sigh. It’s already filled with decks, both tarot and oracle, that is still available and some oop decks. Oh, sorry, you didn’t understand the oop part? Oop is Out Of Print, and that makes it real hard to get some of them.

But back to that evil Lo Scarabeo 2014 then. I don’t know if it’s on their homepage just yet but I looked at it from their Facebook page if you can’t find it on their website. And no, there wasn’t just decks that ended up on “me want” list, there was also a Lenormand deck and a bag or two and then some not so necessary things, but I would like them anyway, seals, wax and calligraphy. I told you! My account is having hick-ups already… lucky me it wont happen yet.

What I did find? Oh, I found:

Tarot of the Sacred Feminine, to be released in January. Not quite sure if I want it but I’m curious.

Silver Witchcraft, release in April.

Ghost Tarot, also in April

Tarot Mucha, I like the art even if I’m not sure I would work with it, release in September

Pagan Lenormand, and no, I’m not working with Lenormand yet anyway. But I like the art. Release in July,

Witch Crystals Kit, release in September

Then there was a Ghost Tarot bag to be released in March and a journal with the same theme in May.

And we have a wax seal spiritual set in January and a calligraphic ritual set in June.

You see? I told you they are evil! Lo Scarabeo 2014 will ruin me… wonder if some magic would help finding enough money to get those things? Just kidding. It’s like with everything else, one thing at a time, and I might decide I don’t like those as much as I thought. There is still time to change my mind about it all.

When I saw all this I had a thought running through my head, I must tell Jeannie about this! Just to remember that she will never sit there in the other end of the phone or in our next e-mail just as thrilled as I am about new decks, the art, the possibility of buying yet another one, if it will be possible to work with them and when you got them in your hands, pros and cons with them and all that. Jeannie, I miss you something terrible, you know that?

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Candle

Candle

The last time I heard from her was in May this year and since I didn’t expect any answers soon I wasn’t worried to begin with and with summer and all the things that had to be done I didn’t have much time to worry. But finally I remembered a way I could have a chance of finding out what was going on and sent an e-mail. Why I didn’t try to write letters or call her? Because she moved and we never got around to that part with new address and what new phone number she might have. The only place I knew I could reach her was by the Tarotforum.

We first started talking on a Yahoo group called Comparative Tarot when I introduced myself as a new member from Sweden. She was really excited since she was a third generation Swedish-American. So that’s how it all started, one thing led to another, we talked tarot, paganism and all kinds of things. The years went by and we talked about ups and downs in our life, discussed decks we had bought or wanted to buy, both tarot and oracle. Dreams and things we hoped for. When me and my husband got married we had her there in spirit, had our daughter and she became an honorary auntie, because I looked at her as a sister.

Some more years went by and thanks to her dear friend Dave we finally had a chance to meet. I wrote some about that in a previous post, So ends a life. We talked a lot about our memories from those weeks and had a dream going about perhaps one day be able to meet again. Or even better, she would be able to come and visit us! That would have been fantastic, let her see some of Sweden where part of her ancestry came from. One day I would like to be able to go back to the US, Los Angeles, Santa Barbara and San Fransisco, and show my daughter some of the places I went then and see what has changed since.

Heart

Heart

Then I was told about Dave and his cancer and knowing that it was no cure and I knew how hard it was for her, Dave was her safety, the one who helped her, knew when she wasn’t feeling well and now he would be gone. But she felt that she would be there for him like he had for her during many years. She had to move and it was a really tough time, changes like that wasn’t something she handled very well. She admitted that she didn’t find much joy in life any longer, she missed Dave something terribly and I suspect she didn’t eat properly either. So one thing led to another and today I found out that she died in June. I wasn’t surprised really, and that is what I told Jim when we got in touch over the phone. And again I will say I’m very grateful that you could give me an answer to this, even if it was hard and I do miss her loads. Thank you, now I can go on knowing about it and not wondering now and then why I don’t hear from her.

If you ever met her online you might have known her by the name Runa WyrdRaven or just WyrdRaven. A sweet and loving woman who I had the chance to get to know and become friends with.

Rest in peace Jeannie, wherever you are. Your life wasn’t easy but I hope you have found peace.

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As I promised yesterday I wrote down my interpretation of the Mabon Spread I found on Tarotforum. I decided to use Gaian Tarot by Joanna Powell Colbert and this is what it turned out like.

Mabon Spread

Mabon Spread

………1

………7

3………………….4

5……………..6

………8

………2

1) 8 of Earth – Oak King ~ The light, what is beginning or shining brightly in your life

2) 3 of Water – Holly King ~ The dark, what is dying or shadowing over your life

3) Temperance – Gift ~ What you are most thankful for

4) Guardian of Water – Harvest ~ What is being harvested right now

5) The Sun – Unseen Gift ~ What you don’t realize you have or should be thankful for

6) 9 of Water – Recognition ~ What you need to share or sacrifice

7) 5 of Earth – Equality ~ What you need to balance in your life

8) Child of Water – Mysteries ~ What the future holds for you

With the Oak King, the light what is beginning or shining brightly in my life I see a father and daughter training with drums together out on a field with a big lake, forest and wheat or something in that way behind them. So this tells me at least that something that is shining brightly in my life is my relationship with my own daughter and how much of what I know and have learnt that I can consciously give her every day. And many things that I probably don’t think of at all. There are things that I probably should remember more often to really tell her about, and I’m not talking about telling her and showing her how much I love her.

The Holly King, the dark, what is dying or shadowing over my life is a family of sea otters resting, grooming and looking for food. Playful creatures with a tight family bond. I’m not that playful and perhaps I should try to engage more in parts like that. It’s also myself living with my emotional side well hidden most of the time. Not making much noise around myself. Perhaps I should lighten up more and be a little more alert.

The Gift, what I’m most thankful for, is an angel with white wings and a pale pink dress and purple robe on. She’s pouring a rainbow from her right hand down to her left where she holds a bowl with a burning flame in. She’s standing in pink water with the mountains at her back and a rising sun just coming up. So the gift and what I’m most thankful for… despite everything I have a balance in my life strangely enough. The currents haven’t made me lost my footing completely yet. Maybe it’s my guides I should be really thankful for since they help me out, and all the rest of my family who’s there for me for one thing or another when the need arises.

The Harvest, what is being harvested right now. Here we see a mature woman as the Guardian of Water, makes me think of Hawaii or similar location the way she looks and that beautiful sea-shell she holds in her right hand pouring water down in the ocean with. Around her is lots of fish and a turtle. My first feeling, the positions meaning or not, is being peaceful, one with the element. The Goddess of water more than a Guardian of Water. I will harvest this feeling of being one with my surroundings, finding my balance, giving and taking, sharing.

Unseen gift, what I don’t realize I have or what I should be thankful for. The Sun, showing a woman in a red dress dancing out of joy and happiness with a stonewall where big sunflowers grow and a big sun stands out on a blue sky. Something I haven’t realized or something I should be thankful for. My life, living, thankful for all I have even if it’s not always what I think I need I do have lots of other positive things in my life. Home, food, clothes, family, friends and the list can go on. I have a lot I can do a happy dance for.

Recognition ~ What you need to share or sacrifice. This is the 9 of Water with a woman standing down in a big cavern and the sunlight shining down from the opening. She’s standing there with her arms outstretched, palms upward and you can see a small stream running down beside her. I’m not sure I understand what this can be. But I’ll keep rambling and we’ll see if it comes jumping up at me. She looks like she is meditating, or soaking in the sunlight that comes at her, or maybe taking in the feeling from the cave walls, being down in the mother. There is something about a need to get out of my chosen solitude and going out into the world again.

Equality ~ What you need to balance in your life represented by the 5 of Earth. A young woman or man lying in a heap of old branches, dry grass and leaves riding out a storm raging in the fall. There are trees around and the rain is falling, but even if it’s not very warm you are protected from the rain and can stay there until the storm passes. Something I need to balance in my life might be to prepare a little better for the harder times in life, sort of having the right clothing for bad weather and being a little more prepared for tougher situations. I can’t always hide or keep to myself.

Mysteries ~ What the future holds for you represented by the Child of Water. A young girl standing in shallow water for the first time in her life in a little dress and  sun hat feeling the water over her feet and legs. How the sand and stones feels underneath your feet on a beach in “real” water. So what can the future hold for me with this? The joy of new experiences, trying something new that I haven’t done before. A childlike delight in the feelings and sensations that arise.

And to add some more I pulled a card from Earth Magic Oracle Cards by Steven D. Farmer and got Forest and the text comes from the book that comes with it.

Forest

Forest

Forest – Breath

As we make our way across the meadow to the thicker parts of the forest, there’s a subtle shift in the sensations in the body, one that might initially be barely perceptible but soon becomes undeniable. It’s nearly impossible not to take deeper breaths. The richness of the forest’s oxygen, given freely and generously from the trees (the Standing Ones) to us, is a natural exchange for the carbon dioxide we release every time we exhale. Further, the animals of the forest participate in this exchange as well as in what is one of the most miraculous and remarkable collaborations between plants and animals that serve to help each other live and thrive. The ratio of this oxygen-carbon dioxide exchange has been in balance for millennia but has been changing quite dramatically in the last several years as carbon dioxide levels have been rising. Yet there are many parts of the world where we can still enjoy the refreshing and revitalizing effects of an afternoon enjoying the sights, sounds, and smells of a walk in the forest. Through prayer and action, we can express our gratitude to these tree beings for the many gifts they provide, not the least of which is contributing to the very air we breathe. Things are different after a walk in the forest.

Your breathing is too shallow. Although it may feel natural, it is an unhealthy habit that causes this shortness of breath. When you subconsciously shorten your breath, no matter if this is habitual or triggered by some event or circumstance, it activates certain physiological signals that prepare your system for “fight or flight”. Another conditioned response to perceived danger is to hold your breath. This is your survival response, although it does not serve you to do so. So… breathe! Inhale deeply, regardless of your concerns, worries, or problems; then let it go. Next, allow yourself to breathe a little deeper and slower a few times. Remember that every breath you inhale is a gift, and every breath you exhale is a gift. The forest is a clear reminder of how this works.

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Rowan

Rowan

Or Mabon after the figure in Celtic mythology who is son of Modron, and for others it’s Alban Elued (Light on Water). Depends on what we celebrate and what meaning we put into it. This is the balance point, when day and night are equally long and up here in the north we don’t have much left to harvest now since this is the second harvest. For my own part I’ve not done any celebrations yet, but putting dried leaves on my altar from rowan and some others that are beautiful, but this year no berries. I’ve made cinnamon rolls with applesauce, homemade with apples from a family member and for dinner I made a carrot soup with our own carrots. Lovely to feel this chance of making foods with our own vegetables at least. I had plans for baking a bread but I forgot and well, another day will be just as good.

Another positive thing is the fact that the sun finally had a chance to show it’s face again, first time in three days now. So I’m hoping for some more sunshine tomorrow also so I will have time to really enjoy it.

If there is anyone looking for more information I found a page that had some short but interesting information, from Celtic Tradition. Right now while I write this I feel so relaxed, happy, the energies around me lighten up with this returning sun I think. We’ve all been tired and out of sorts with all those grey clouds and rain falling and now with the chance of some sunlight and the fun part of trying to find interesting reading about this particular day I feel even better.

Tarot spreads? Yes, will come too, planning on doing some spreads tonight and write about them tomorrow.

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So it’s a full moon and I wish it will clear up so it will be visible tonight, but you never know. And if it doesn’t I’ll know it is there somewhere. I’ll light some candles and soak in the energies anyway. And since it’s peace and quiet here right now I’ll do my tarot spreads now instead of later.

The first one is by Eowyn at Tarotforum.net and is simply called Full Moon Spread. With only four cards it doesn’t take a lot of space and I decided to use Dark Fairytale Tarot.

Full Moon Spread

Full Moon Spread

So, first card is about what can be seen with clarity and there I see I have Ace of Wands. A pair of female hands with a wand floating between them and a crystal at the top. In the background you can see what is probably a cemetery with two large headstones and a night sky. So what is it that should be so clear that it almost blind me in this dark card? My eyes wander to that lower left corner where there is some light shining and it appears to be some kind of opening and a gate there. Is it a fire burning? Is this about me finding a way out of this “darkness”, something will spread a light on the path I’m supposed to follow and I start to see what is there?

Next card position is what gets complete and what will end a cycle, represented by The Hierophant. He looks like Christopher Lee somehow… only difference from his Saruman is this one has that pope attributes instead. Behind him is a window seen in old churches and in front of him out of the mist is hands reaching out. But is it for help or in faith? I have some real difficult times with figures like these, makes me think of authority in a bad way, people that want power over others and want them to look up to them as they are some kind of higher power. But on the positive side this is also about knowledge, the outer knowledge as compared to the High Priestess who’s got the inner power/knowledge. Getting rid of the uncomfortable feeling around authorities, finding my own too and instead of feeling like I’m the one always reaching out to those with power I might be on equal terms with them, having just as much knowledge in my field as they in theirs? Just not trying to make people kneel in front of me…

Third position is about what is starting to fade away, darken, abandon me. Or what needs to anyway. This is represented by the Page of Cups, a young girl with her eyes intent on the cup she is holding where a fish is sticking out its head. In the background there is a night sky and some trees and a full moon. This could be about doing something about emotions, feelings that has been around a long time and not really of any help to me now. It’s easy to get stuck, feel hurt or vulnerable, and forget to move out of that spot. What can I do instead? What more can I do with this cup and fish?

And the last card, the shadow card from the bottom of the deck that is all about me in my present. Hmm, I’m not sure if I like this one… Queen of Swords. She sits on a throne in a dark room, a palace, wearing a black dress with a sword in her left hand lying across her and butterflies flitting around in blue, orange and pink. Those are the only colors really that breaks the darkness. So me here and now. Bitchy, sharp tounged, having a great deal of time for thinking but not doing that much practical or physically. Is that me? My shadow, the one who knows what she wants, how she wants it and with what people, but also someone who can really hurt people without using anything else than her eyes or her words.

I found another spread too, that I wanted to try out by Alexandra Carabine at Rabbit Moon Tarot. This spread is called The Path the Moon Makes on Water. Here we are first supposed to choose consciously a card that will represent our goal, it will be The Moon in the spread. I chose The Magician from Book of Shadows vol 2 for this spread.

The Path the Moon Makes on Water

The Path the Moon Makes on Water

The first card, The Moon, my goal is as I just said The Magician. Why? Because I want to get things done, take care of several things at the same time and finding a balance between it all.

The second card is me now, here I find 2 of Swords. It’s a very peaceful card really, a young woman meditating at a lake shore with mountains in the background and some clouds in the sky. There is two fairies at her hands but that doesn’t seem to be disturbing really. So that would be me? Mostly in my head and not doing much of anything else… true in some ways. I have a way of thinking and knowing a lot of things, but not always doing so much about it.

Third card is the weaknesses that holds me back, represented by the Ace of Wands in this deck. A hand holding a wand that just lights a candle among many others and a salamander curling up around it, the only candle that is red and it’s the first time it is lighted. The others have been lighted several times before and they are either yellow or orange. What could be a weakness here and in these circumstances? The fact that I have many ideas, things I would like to do, but I can’t get going. Either I lack the energy or knowledge, or I’m short on money to buy the things I could have use for. And since my external hard drive crashed I lost a little of my energy too. There was so many things there that I wanted to have as ideas for how things could be done. Lacking that spark of creativity and starting up something.

Fourth card is about strengths I can use to overcome these weaknesses represented by 6 of Swords. I’ve had this card before not long ago, just have to find out where and for what. A girl running across a path chasing a fairy and behind her is dark skies, pollution, death and decay and in front of her is sunshine, green grass, flowers and a lot more happiness. The path is like a border between two dimensions. So if I really try and visualise positive things, thinking happy thoughts as in Happy Gilmore, life could become a lot easier and I have the strength to leave behind all the darker memories and things that happened in my life. Not letting my own memories of sorrow overshadow my life even if there will be two funerals in a short time again, difference is it’s two of my aunts that was old and sick both of them, not my dad and my husband that still had many years to do things.

Fifth card is obstacles I’m facing and looking at 10 of Chalices (Cups). Ok what kind of obstacle is it for me in this card? It’s a typical happy moment with a couple getting married and toasting with friends and family in an outdoor wedding where everyone seems to be happy and looking forward to many years of happiness and family together. First off is the fact that I did get married to my love, it was a very happy day and that might tell me some of the obstacle today. I have a wonderful life with my daughter, but I don’t have anyone close, an adult, at home that I can talk to or share the responsibility with. Oh I have my mother and other friends that help me out and that I can share things with but not anyone you share your family and kids with the way you do with a partner. I don’t want to rush into something new either, but I have a  hard time seeing myself in a new relationship for several reasons, commit to a new man in my life the way I did. Am I holding people off to much instead?

Sixth card is about how to overcome those obstacles. Represented by a familiar card again in the form of Judgement. A woman sitting in front of her garden altar praying or just meditating, candles lit and the Goddess statue surrounded by flowers and a little bird sitting on a branch above them. It looks so peaceful and having a corner of the world just for religious/spiritual practice isn’t to bad. That might be what I need, that little corner, time to meditate, finding my balance in things like these too and whatever happens will come when it’s time. When we as a family are ready to change, do something new, finding our inner balance and peace.

Seventh, and last, card is about the guiding light. This is 3 of Pentacles and it’s a woman standing in front of a painting she’s working on. She holds the brush in her left hand and looking at what she’s accomplished so far. Maybe thinking about what she would add, change or if she’s satisfied the way it is. On a table in the front of this picture you can see cans and tubes with paint and two gnomes cleaning up her brushes. Trying to keep that place tidy and in order. My guiding light would be, for me and the way I feel here and now, to find a balance between doing what I think is fun, creative and just making me happy and what has to be done in the “real” world with household stuff and practical things that has to be done no matter if you like it or not.

Interesting, now I have to take a break and do some of that “real” world stuff and then I’ll go back to reading what I have written here and see if it makes any sense.

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And now many of us can hear that Elton John song from The Lion King in their head. But it’s true really, things continue to follow that circle, human life, plants, animals, you name it. We are born, we grow up, grow old (hopefully) and die and so the wheel turns and we go back to be part of the earth again and whatever happens next depends on what we believe or what we think happens.

Lingonberries

Lingonberries

This time of year in the northern hemisphere is about fall, “dying” and being reborn at spring. But it’s a natural process and so is our lives, even if we don’t really want to think about it and some of us just feel scared. Why I’m talking about this? Perhaps it is the fact that I went to my aunts funeral today and will attend another one shortly with another aunt. It’s sad, yes, and they will be missed but on the other hand, they had reached high age and passed 80 both of them. They have husbands, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren that will remember them and hopefully carry on the positive sides that they had to give. But they were old, one had cancer and the other one just laid in her bed for the last four years, to tired to move or even talk. And what kind of life is that? Living with pain and maybe not even knowing someone is there. So we will miss them, feel sad one moment and laugh the next. But we will all know that they haven’t got any pains or worries any longer. What I really liked about this funeral (and it was the same woman holding the ritual as when my husband died) is that she’s so good at putting words on the feelings that circle around a time like this. And she also lit three small candles and put in a small bowl with sand, the first one for love (the love we feel for the deceased and each other), the second for the memory of them and the third for us that will keep on living without them.

It’s this time of year too, as my grandmother said when she was getting tired of life “I’ll leave with the falling leaves” and so she did, but our lives goes on and next year there will be a new spring, new life. This is the time for dying and hibernation. Mabon is just around the corner, and we will celebrate the gifts of nature in one way or the other. Here in the north this will be the last harvest and we will put grains, fruit and berries on our altar, prepare food that include vegetables and whatever else there is we feel is appropriate. With that we keep on living and continue this circle of life.

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New familymember

Licorice 5 weeks old

Licorice 5 weeks old

So it seems we will have a new family member in the end of October or early November. A witch and witchlet will need a cat so now that is taken care of. Just joking, I’ve been thinking of what kind of pet would work best for us considering space, working/school hours and such and finally I decided a cat might work best for us. And as things happened a friend of mine had a photo on her Facebook page where a friend of hers showed his cat with her three little ones. One thing led to another and yesterday we went looking at them and decided we would have one of the guys, a black little one that will probably have those yellow eyes that his mother has.

Now its just a question of getting the most necessary things until he moves in and then make sure I can have an insurance and vet things covered. Asked daughter to see if she could make some toys for him with paper, feathers and strings of yarn. I think it will be soon and ready for our new little one. Oh, and his name is Licorice.

And as my friend with a twinkle in her eye said that he will have to learn to stay on the broom when we’re off for the witchy meetings when he comes home to us.

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