Archive for April, 2014

Happily slepping cat

Happily sleeping cat

So first day after the break from school and we felt the joy and energy sparkling when the alarm told us that morning had arrived at 6.50am… not! For me morning started a lot earlier, around 5am when a certain someone, black and furry, came to the conclusion that he wanted some company so he decidedly walked all the way up along my daughter, butted my head and then went off to catch one of his toys… and started playing with it in my bed. He wasn’t the most loved individual at that time. Wonder why? Luckily enough for me a friend of mine called later, after I had left daughter at school, and I was saved from falling asleep at the computer. Had lots of fun, this friend of mine and I have known each other for some 40 years by now so we’ve had lots of things to talk about during the years. So when I got home (lovely weather outside I can tell you) I started to get some things done, and daughter got home from school and gave me some dry leaves, a pine cone and a small stone. Oh, and a little stick! Mustn’t forget that, if I wanted to create something with them, bless her loving heart. I don’t know what I can do with it, but I’ll find something out, or let her do something with them.

And continuing on that friendship thing. I’ve been talking about this with how we behave among others before when I quoted Ravynne Phelan and stumbled over some words from a well known man here in Sweden, who said this sometime during the winter, I forgot to note when, but his name is Jörgen Gustafsson and he had this to say about interacting with others, and sorry for any strange wordings and such, I’m trying to translate it from my own language.

A Tongue has no bones

A Tongue has no bones

There is a lot written here on FB about this and that. “Moved” around a little the other day. And started slowly wondering if, sometimes it is that FB becomes like a vent for some to express their sorrow, happiness, and anger. And that is ok.
But I think it is a big risk that we stop talking to those we have nearest about how we really feel. It becomes for me sort of a strange relationship that comes to be. Not any longer that feeling of being close that you want with, for example, a friend when it comes to verbal communication. Even the feeling of being outside grows, not to talk about what signals we give our children about how communication should be.
I heard a while ago about a 13 year old who had expressed him/herself pretty bad to a mum of one that I know. This happened on FB. And it was pretty hard words that was being used. When this 13 year old was confronted with what had been written, was th defense that – this isn’t for real what is happening on internet.
I wondered then? Is this the way you think? Just because I haven’t got the person in front of me I can just say anything I like just because I’m thinking it and then put it down on “paper”? At a forum that everyone has access to. Just like – I’m “thinking” out loud to myself without realising the consequences of my thoughts that I write and send out in cyberspace.
Maybe we should sit down and think twice in “the heat of the moment”, count to 10 before we hit “send” or push enter.

Is that the way many people think when they are out on internet or social media of some sort? That it is “only” internet and it’s some sort of fantasy world where I can be anyone I like and behave in any way I like, because it’s not for real? Hm, I think I want to keep an eye on what my daughter is doing on internet when she’s older and start to chat with people. She’s only 8 so far, but I’ve already heard about kids her age who has sent really nasty messages to “friends”. Makes you start wondering how much we do know about what our kids are doing when they are using the computer or whatever you have at home.

Just to jump to another previous subject of mine, the predator one. No, I haven’t heard anything more about that particular one. I stumbled over this one that was a link from Witches’ Voice Facebook page, and it didn’t make me happy. What is wrong with people? As I said before, it doesn’t matter if you try to trick kids with puppies, kittens, candy or magically curing their mum. It’s wrong!


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20140418 Mjölkudden 41Had a wonderful day today. Sun was shining, it was warm even if it is still a chill in the air. Spring is early, not very much snow left as we are used to have much more than this at this time of year. But it felt good just walking and let my thoughts just go wherever they wanted. A lot easier to think happy and less scary thoughts when the sun is so bright and shining on the snow covered ice on the river. So why am I talking about scary thoughts when there has been such a lovely day?

Maybe I’m just in the mood for them, considering everything that has been going on, but they were triggered earlier the week before. When my daughter was six years old she had heart surgery, and it went really well and she was up and about in three days. At the hospital we met a father and his young son, 6 months old at the time, who already had his second surgery. Imagine such a tiny body having surgery for the second time! The mum and two older siblings where there too, but they couldn’t stay all the time. We started talking and my daughter isn’t really the one who keeps quiet and hide from strangers. I guess it was fun for the father having her around letting him think about something else for a moment or two. We kept in touch during the years keeping up on what was going on. My daughters heart problem was a very easy one compared to this young boys. His heart was completely wrong, lacking parts so they have been forced to make several surgeries to build it up to have at least one chamber. When we were back home in the beginning of December that year this family could go home to celebrate the holidays too, just to have to go back in January to do another surgery. I can’t even imagine how much pressure it must put on this family and others in the same situation, pressure in every possible way.

So it’s been sort of quiet for a long time and it seemed like he was doing a lot better until lately. Another surgery that could go for better or take a step back, unfortunately it was a step back for this 3 year old and his family. And as that wasn’t enough they had to do another surgery just three weeks later to put in a pacemaker because his heart wouldn’t come back to it’s normal pace the way it usually does within two weeks. I don’t know how he is recovering now, hoping things are going for the better and that it will be a much happier and stronger little man coming home to the rest of the family.

heart-on-blackWhy am I talking about this kid? Well, because last night I felt that scary feeling that I had the summer when we were told daughter would have heart surgery during the fall and I had a deep feeling of doom, something was going to go disastrously wrong! And it did in one way, just wasn’t daughter who was the one to die, it was her dad instead. I think I wrote about that in my other blog (this one wasn’t created then) about how I tried to write this feeling off as my fears of what would happen and if she would be ok. It was back yesterday when we had gone to bed and daughter had fallen asleep. I tried to calm down, thinking that it was my fears playing tricks on me, that this little guy will be ok and there is no use for me working my mind up over it. Whatever will happen I can’t do very much about it. I try to light a candle for him and his family when I can keep an eye on it so I wont have a curious kitten finding a way to reach it. I so hope this feeling was just my own fears and not a warning of something to come. My experiences gets the better of me now and then so I hope this is all it was, my bad experiences and memories playing tricks on me.

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Riding a bike

Riding a bike

Sorry I’ve been away again, but more things on the not so fun side happened and it sort of knocked me down for a while. One of my uncles died exactly on the day as my dad died so there was a little to many things at the same time. Didn’t matter that it’s been three years and I sort of felt that things would start to get easier. Well, I know that this will pass too with time and it will be easier. It’s spring outside, young one got a new bike that hopefully will last more than one summer when it comes to size and life will go on. And as you can see to the left, there she is, trying out her new bike. Proud mum watching her.

But why the predator headline? Well, as much as we as pagans want to think that there ain’t any “bad” people among us, we’re not living in a dream world, not by far. We probably have all kinds of bad people in our ranks, just as well as any other group, society or anything we can come to think of. Recently there has been a man arrested for child pornography and he is a well known person in pagan society, at least in the US. But as Kris Bradley states in her blog:

“What I will say is that I, as both a Pagan and a parent, do not condone the abuse of any child or adult by anyone. I will not push the story under the rug for fear of how it makes the “rest of us” look. I will not shy away from the fact that this man is a Pagan – abuse happens in every group, we are not immune. I will not try to deflect what happened by bringing up abuse by any other religious group and how they “got away with it”. “

I agree on that, I don’t care if you are from Mars or any other part of the Universe, if you abuse anyone it’s not ok in my world.

Patti Wigington has also written about this and says two important things, and those are that we need to talk about this and that we should not try to state that this man is not a pagan, he is and it doesn’t matter if we don’t like it. And if we really look deeper down there are probably others who have been doing the same thing and gotten away with it, no matter what religion or social status they have had. And pagans are not any different than other people, there are abusers of drugs, those who beat their family, and what not probably. We’re not perfect just because we are pagan! But there are also those who pretend to be pagan or of any other religion to get their way with people and we have to watch out when we hear about things like that of course. But we must also remove our blindfolds for things like these and help those who might be a victim or might become a victim

Here is some words from Patti:

“So – what do we do? The Pagan community is a place that we want to be safe for any and all, and yet, things like this do happen, as much as we’d like to deny it. This isn’t the first case of someone doing reprehensible things in the community – and it’s important to note that as of now, we don’t know if Klein himself victimized any of the children in the photographs. However, we’ve all heard rumblings of young newbie Pagans being approached by people who suggested something inappropriate, all in the guise of freedom and sex-positiveness or because it’s “part of the ritual” or whatever.”

There are more to read if you follow the links above and other places where we can read and hopefully get some follow up on what is going on. Right now my nose is running, my brain is feeling a little off and, hopefully, I can make some more intelligent writing another day. The joy of having kids, they lovingly and generously share their colds with you…


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