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Posts Tagged ‘love’

One of my friends on Facebook wrote yesterday some words of thought about this with weight and how we look. Her reason to speak came from something that was said on tv here in Sweden, the Let’s Dance show, many of us already know about that competition even if we don’t care about watching it. What made her react was the fact that there was a comment about one of the contenders that had lost some weight due to the dance training. Somewhat jokingly it was said that he had lost half his weight, but it wasn’t more than 5kg. But mostly this was about why it always have to be about weight and looks? Not everything is about being slim and beautiful, there are so many other criteria to look at and it’s not about the outer so called beauty. You can be a wonderful person even if you are severly overweight. But sure, for reasons of health it could be a good idea not having to much overweight, but to make people feel ashamed and feel bad because they can’t live up to an ideal constructed by a few that fits into it, that is cruel and unfair.  It doesn’t matter if you are under- or overweight. Yes, there is actually a problem to be underweight too even if that isn’t talked about as much as the overweight. For me, I probably belong to the latter category even if I had the fortune of having my weight spread out over my whole body. But to hear my daughter, while she is trying on something she felt really attracted to and find out that it wasn’t made for someone with the “wrong” bodyshape, with low voice say “Mum, I wish I was slim…” how much didn’t that hurt? How many goes around with this thorn inside with not fitting in, to not be good enough or be right according to some ideal?

Oracle of Shadows and Light 25

Oracle of Shadows & Light

So, I pulled as usually these days, two cards from the same oracle deck I’ve really got into, and got two fitting cards yesterday. The first one is Sewer Mermaid and that might not be the one you think beauty about since a sewer doesn’t feel like a nice place. In that card we are reminded that we often have negative thoughts about ourselves – we are to short or tall, thighs too big, our brests are too small, hair is wrong, not beautiful enough, and so on. That creates blocks inside ourselves and finally we start to push other around us away because we think that we are wrong, ugly and not attractive enough. This mermaid says that it’s time to clean up within ourselves among all these negative thoughts and ideas about ourselves. We are beautiful in different ways, and perhaps with a more healthy way of life, as in start moving some more and eat less fast food and sweets as comfort, maybe we will start feeling better in our physical body too. She wants to show that we have beauty despite what creators of clothes and others decide is beauty. This was the last paragraph about what the card was about:

“Let this strong, survivor mermaid show you how to love yourself and your appearance again and rise above the rubbish and stink of negative conditioning regarding your beautiful body and unique self! You are beautiful and very worth loving. This is the only truth that must be told at this time.”

Oracle of Shadows and Light 19

Oracle of Shadows & Light

But the other card then, what was that? Then came Amara the Menehune and it is, fittingly enough, about healing. She is talking about the importance of calming down, less stress. Eat right and enjoy what you eat, look around you and find the beauty in your surroundings. Relax, enjoy seeing a tree, a flower, a bird, whatever. Slow down and just exist for a moment. Stop listening to those inner and outer voices that says you always have to work, work harder and more, stress, hurry up. Out in the sun and just enjoy life here and now, get some necessary energy. Especially now at springtime it can be about time to shake that darkness off and the effects of short days and little daylight, especially for those of us living further up north and really have short days during winter. You get up in the morning for school and work and it’s dark, and when you’re on your way home it is just as dark before it turns and slowly, day by day, it turns and minutes turns to hours with more daylight.

As previously said, perhaps if we should start appreciating ourselves, see that we have and possess beauty no matter what we look like. I don’t fit in at a beauty competition where all is about what you look, but hopefully I have other things that compensate for it and make me into a person worthy of likes, love and respect for who I am. Same thing with my daughter, she’s no beauty ideal according to those who set those up, but her looks and her personality gives her a beauty that I hope that no one will take away from her or try to make her believe that she isn’t beautiful, lovable and worthy of all the respect and consideration like all the others in this world.

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Or in some order anyway. The cold is slowly going away, except that cough that seems to linger for a long time, my back is finding its way to normal again too.

Imbolc has come and gone and I didn’t do anything particular those days, simply because the cold still held me in a firm grip. But I lit candles, thinking, feeling and having my mind on a picture I saw where you can see a woman down in the ground slowly stretching her hands up above, where the snow is still covering the ground. The Goddess is stretching and waking up a little more every day and so are we and all nature. Having a feeling that the trees prepares to wake up soon as the days grow longer and a little warmer. Even if I seldom do rituals or celebrate very visibly its still inside me, in my mind and in my heart, how the year changes and the moon come and go. The rhythm in my spirit.

So the rest then, all those things starting with the letter T? Where to begin? It is sort of related even if I didn’t think of it like that to begin with, but it is a lot about healing, nature, balance and other things linking together in one way or another.

Tarot, I’m part of a test group that is trying a course based on the Thoth deck, well you don’t have to  have that one, but it’s easier if you do. This first part we’ve been working with four cards, The Empress, The Emperor, The Lovers and Art (Temperance) and when you start looking at them it’s like having opposites and wholeness, completion, healing, balance and harmony. Maybe that is what I need more of in my life too, and not only me.

Thoughts then, just to keep on with my list of T. It started yesterday really when I was trying to finish a tricky game on the computer and daughter beside me trying to help me out and finding solutions when she all of a sudden starts this conversation:

“Mum, sometimes I feel like I’m such a failure…”
“Why is that?”
“I don’t know, sometimes I just feel that way.”
Me, while putting an arm around her: “You are never a failure, ever! You are the best that has happened to me!”
Feeling that she is relaxed and content I continue:
“At every given time you can only do your best at that particular moment and place. Next week or month you might be able to do better, or even the next day or perhaps in 10 years, or maybe never. But just there and then you can’t do anything else but your best, no one can.”
Apparently content with my answer I had a hug and “I love you, mum”.

I don’t know where that thought came from, if it’s something they’ve been talking about among friends, at school or just picked up from somewhere else or if it’s just that things have been very demanding on her lately. I hope she feels she can come and talk to me another time if she needs to.

Trees then. Well, its sort of related to the tarot and the cards from the course. Singular, duality, wholeness, healing, balance. In the photos I’ve taken there are trees standing alone, those who are almost as Siamese twins, those whose top once broke off and it healed and ended up in two tops instead of one and still no problems to go on living, just a different way of looking than the rest. Twisted, straight, curved, alone, in pairs or groups. And the art of nature where snow or drops of water have fallen in snow and created a pattern all of its own without any human interaction. Many thoughts and feelings moving around.

Hugging trees?

Hugging trees?

 

Sharing the root

Sharing the root

 

 

Just natures way

Just natures way

 

 

Birches

Birches

 

 

Growing together

Growing together

 

 

Split stem

Split stem

 

 

Another one

Another one

 

 

A third

A third

 

 

Three pairs in a row on each side.

Three pairs in a row on each side.

 

 

In every direction

In every direction

 

 

Snow on rocks

Snow on rocks

 

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Owl

Owl (Photo credit: jennicatpink)

I’ve been looking at my collection of spreads and trying to write down some of them in a notebook to have with me when I’m out and about. Just to help me out in case I want something special. And then I find this one to help me get some answers for the “stalking owls”. And I used Druidcraft as usual, while listening to my daughters breathing while she’s sleeping the exhausted childs sleep, with a cold and probably fever. Been a long weekend and lots of fun for her.

The spread then, it’s made by someone called Sprite and published at Tarotforum.net in 2003. Just a fun note is that the spread was created for a friend that had an owl visiting. So again it will be used for owls. There is no specific spread layout so we can do whatever we feel like with that, so here are the cards I pulled:

Why it’s come into your life – shown itself to you. The Tower. There is something that needs changing then, or get a better foundation for it. I don’t really like this card, it’s caused havoc in my life before. But it’s also my year card for good and bad. I will take it as a reminder that it’s time to build something stronger and better and that I need to do some changes in my life, insights that can come suddenly out of “nowhere”

Why it makes contact with you now. Death. Must be that the owls are getting tired of me for not getting the message. First The Tower and now Death! I get it, I get it, you want me to do some changes in my life. As long as we don’t talk real, physical death to people that are really close I think I can handle it. But for now I will handle this as a necessary change of my life and what is going on in it. There needs to be some space for something new  here. And I might need some work on the spiritual path too, have a feeling someone or something wants my attention there.

What is it’s significance to you. Two of Wands. To create balance, open spaces and walking my path again. A connection between earth and sky, getting in touch with nature again. Find my footing, ground and center. That is what it feels like, what is coming to me.

How do you tap into this power – connect with it. Queen of Pentacles. Well, get outside, ground yourself and maybe do some drumming or meditation at least. Find a way to get in touch with nature, the animals, and listen. There is a message there too, besides me getting grounded and be more in the here and now.

What message has it been trying to give you. Nine of Cups. If this had been a video you would here me snicker to myself. It’s so heads on so it’s ridiculous! Today spirit world apparently gave up and tried another way. They have realized what I’ve been trying to tell them for some time, that I don’t get it. They have to be more obvious, something I will understand. Today has been messages of love. Not so much love another, but to love myself. If I love myself I will feel more content and I can appreciate, even more, what I already have. I don’t know who to credit this one that I saw on Facebook, but it makes sence:

Imagine that your income is directly proportional to your self- love. What does that say about your income? Or self- love?!

The man I see in the card is sitting at a table smiling and happy with what he sees. So if I would take time to love myself and feel that I deserve good, things would probably improve in other areas too. Remembering to love myself, will make a note of that in my mind. Not just being grateful for what I got otherwise, being grateful that I’m me and I’m here too.

 

Druidcraft Cups 03

 

What is your next step to carrying out the owls journey. Three of Cups. Relax, find the joy in life (love myself), take time with friends and the world outside internet. Perfect time for that since it’s summer and more interesting to spend time outside and friends having vacation too. Celebrate life, and living, love of oneself and those around you.

Just see if there will be less of these birds now, or if it’s something else I’m missing. If so, they better find a way to tell me again what it is all about. But maybe I will have some other animal following around then?

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I sat here reading one of my earlier posts, Samhain, and suddenly a memory pops up. A memory that is both sad and fun at the same time… I had read some for my daughter who was in my bed as she had started to sleep there from the  first night when her dad went to hospital and never came back home in physical form. I guess many kids would do like she did, wonder what was happening when you die, where do you go, what does it look like? And sure enough, it was her dad, she was allowed to ask, had to ask, it’s part of the grieving process. So I tried to explain a little of how I look at it, that some people call it Heaven and I call it Summerland. That I see it as a beautiful place where nature is still untouched by man and we live in  harmony with all and everything.

One of the last photos of him

Since her dad, and my husband, was very much into bowling and most of all fishing, fly-fishing to be more precise, I told her that he probably had a bowling alley there somewhere and had lots of friends, old and new, that kept him company. He’s also out fishing and get big fishes, salmon, trout and all kinds of fish. And then I went on to tell her that those fishing lines wasn’t causing problems any longer. And in that same moment I could hear his voice in my head and I’m telling my daughter that “You know what your dad just said? He says that, Oh yes, they do!” And going from tears of sorrow over to a heartfelt laughter because she could recognize her dad in those words.

It’s hard writing those words now because they are painful but at the same time I know he’s ok, wherever he is, he’s ok. It’s the people he loved, and was loved by, that is having the pain and sorrow popping up now and then. But life does go on, one day at a time, and some days are better and some not as good. But we have to keep living, we can’t just lie down and stop living because we lost someone dear to us. We will not make anyone happier just because we stop living our lives. Feel the pain and sorrow, let the tears run freely and then when you feel better again, dry your tears and remember the good times and the love that you shared.

True words

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